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Confessions of a Chronic Daydreamer





June 17th, 2010

The following story is fan fiction.  The disclaimer below is borrowed from , dreamsinfiction, who has perfectly described what fan fiction is (and isn't) on her journal.  (Also - be sure to check out her extensive body of well-written fan fic while there!)  I'm also proud to say the story has been accepted by the moderator and posted  on the Gram Parsons Project Board at the No Depression: Americana and Roots Music web site.  http://www.nodepression.com/group/gramparsonsprojectBB/forum/topics/gram-fan-fic
DISCLAIMER: The characters herein are intellectual property of the author's of the fictional work. The characters depicted are loosely based on individuals to which they are the namesake. The characters are in no way, shape or form claiming to be a true and accurate representation of said individuals whom they are depicting. The author does not claim to be persons depicted in the works of fiction living or deceased. The author does not claim to know personally any of the characters living or deceased.

Anyway, enjoy . . .

 May Be the Last Time

Vraaaah.  From the lawn chair on the patio, tucked behind a stucco wall and overlooking a small stagnant pool, he was not disturbed by the familiar sound of the sliding glass door as it opened.  The sun was equally stagnant, directly opposite the pool but high, high above, creating a bright stain on the dead calm of the pool’s glassy surface.  Draped over him was a hand-knit scarf, a muffler with carefully chosen colors, oblivious to how out-of-place it was in the midday heat.  As he lay, the red glow behind his eyelids was suddenly blackened by a shadow, a presence, shielding him from the sun’s assault, creating a cool respite.  Something was holding him, encircling his wrist, a firm grip, causing his pulse to quicken as he felt its pressure on his skin, the pressure of . . . what . . . what . . . then the touch of a hand on his cheek, simultaneously rough and smooth, stroking his hair with the familiarity of a thousand-year-old friendship, and the smell of stale ash replaced the smoggy chlorine stench which always surrounded the ground by the pool--

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April 2nd, 2010

Dairy Queen mmmmm

I had a long, detailed dream last night, in which I was back working as a short order cook at the Dairy Queen Brazier where I worked in High School.  A waitress handed me an order for 3 burgers, one of which was a double with mushrooms and cheese, french fries, something called "sausage," three soda pops and a large Reese's Pieces blizzard.  Then in my dream I prepared all of these items in unbelievably painstaking detail.  Went through each step, just like it was really happening.  Buttering the buns and putting them on the grill.  I even had to consult my manager to find out what was meant by sausage.  Put on plastic lids and straws in the soda pops.  But I put way too much chocolate syrup in the blizzard.  God I wanted to eat the blizzard in the dream. It looked so good.  Then I woke up when the order was complete.  Not sure why I found this interesting enough to write about.  Ha ha. I guess I miss the days when I actually MADE STUFF at work. 

March 19th, 2010

Not alone after all


Oh My God there is HOPE FOR ME!!!   I thought I was the only one who did this.  I could seriously BE the woman in this case study.


February 26th, 2010



Saw this on  [info]horsdumonde's  journal, so I am reposting it here as required.
Haven't had a good survey in a while.

1. If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet or long and detailed, all is good.

2. Comment here with your answers and repost the questionnaire on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favourite and least favourite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
36) Favourite band(s) of ALL time:

December 30th, 2009

2009 Recap

One more day.  Then it's next year.   This year wasn't so bad.  Didn't post so much, but there wasn't much to say. 

Recap of 2009: I read a lot, which was good; still trying to catch up on all the classics I never got around to.  Read:  Humboldt's Gift by Saul Bellow, Myra Breckenridge by Gore Vidal, Ida by Gertrude Stein, Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis, and Kafka on the Shore by . . . can't remember author's name.  Humboldt's Gift seriously took up most of the year.  Babbitt was hilarious and I'd recommend it.

Travels:  went to Palm Springs and Joshua Tree.  Went to Fargo.  Went to Knoxville.  And went on a surprisingly enjoyable road trip through rural Indiana looking at bridges.  Not the kind of travel I used to do. :-(   I was SUPPOSED to go to Minnesota to visit family for Christmas, but the blizzard made that impossible.  So, had a blue blue blue Christmas. 

Other Stuff:  reconnected with several old friends, including two ex-boyfriends.  It was odd that they both contacted me, one via Facebook, and the other just showed up at my desk at work one day.  (he works for the same company as me, but out in a field office).  The one who showed up at work was this person who I always secretly thought I should've been with, and every time Rob and I have issues I would 'go there' in my mind and imagine life with him and how perfect it all would have been.  Needless to say, when he was standing at my desk we had nothing to talk about and whatever chemistry I had once imagined is no longer there.  And the Facebook guy is now living the high life in Hollywood after having some unbelievable success with his screen play.  He's happily married now, and I can clearly see that he and I never would have worked out.  So that's that.  Now there's no where left to 'go'!   ha ha. 

Learned how to bake fruit cake.  Turned out pretty good.   Tried to keep job skills up to date.  Tried to help Rob find a job, and tried to keep his self esteem from dwindling while he hunts.  Tried to ignore the economy and avoid CNN.  Starting to feel the itch to move on, away from Chicago.  Not sure to where.  But I want to be somewhere where I can have a car!  I think I need to set serious goals for 2010. 

That's about it.  Hope everyone else had a good year, and has a happy new years eve, etc.  XOXO

December 24th, 2009



I've written my first piece of fan fic dedicated to Gram Parsons. If you enjoy fanfic, enjoy it. If not, don't read. Merry Christmas! And . . . This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited

Gram-Fic #1 or "The Flying Burrito Brothers have an Awkward Dinner at New Orleans Home"

When their car arrived, the sun was already setting into the flat murky pinkness which seemed to stretch forever beyond the balconies and wrought iron railings and shuttered windows of the antebellum mansion. The car had come from even further beyond, traversing the endless wet flatness, that expanse of life hidden from view by the thick black Louisiana swamp, and before that, the hilly empty dustiness of America, and before that, the embracing lights and warmth of Los Angeles, to deliver its cargo here. Here, into this labyrinth of balconies and wrought iron, and into the antebellum mansion itself, with its French doors, which were open to reveal a dining room table that delicately rested on a large open patio. The table was waiting. It had been exquisitely adorned by the servants that afternoon, and now was brimming with Bob’s Cajun-flavored creations in anticipation of the car’s arrival. 

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November 30th, 2009

(no subject)

Thanksgiving once again. Mine was a little dull this year. Just me and Rob, which isn't a bad thing, don't get me wrong, but I think we both are just starting to envy people with big families. Seems like there's not much left to either of our families, and I don't know, the holidays just remind us both of when we were little, when you just took for granted that holidays would be a big celebration with all the usual family members. So, now, I guess, it just feels a little empty. But, we made a delicious turkey, drank champagne, and watched some corny Hallmark films, and had a relaxing time.

Otherwise, for the past five days or so I've been obsessing on Gram Parsons. I think his spirit entered my body last year when I was at Joshua Tree, and he's been lying dormant, waiting for the right moment to emerge and thrust his sexy tortured soul back into the center of my consciousness. kidding. But anyway, I constantly have one earbud plugged in while I'm at work, listening to him gently sadly crooning Hickory Wind or Juanita or Sing Me Back Home, and can't focus on anything but his voice. Beautiful.

Rob is still job hunting. He got an internship at a museum, which will hopefully help him get his foot in the door. But job hunting in this environment really is just an exercise in banging your head against a brick wall. He doesn't even get rejection letters--he just gets ignored.

Hoping it will snow pretty soon. It's been rainy and dreary.

May 1st, 2009

This 'n That


Hey Hey.  It's finally spring in Chicago.  Just got back from a big road trip.  Went up to Minneapolis to visit my mom and sister and my adorable four year old niece.  We also saw a bunch of old friends.  Then drove all the way down to Knoxville to visit Rob's parents.  We cleaned out one of our storage units (we had accumulated so much crap in Florida that we had TWO storage units) and had a massive garage sale.  Feels so good to get rid of stuff!  We had kept some ridiculous things (a sno-cone maker?!), and we didn't make enough money in the garage sale to cover the cost of storing all those things for the past 2 1/2 years.  Pointless!  Should have thrown everything out.  Next time I'll know better.  

But the best part of the trip was just being in a car again.  I miss that freedom.  Even driving across flat boring Indiana was fun.  I wanted to keep going, and just drive drive drive, all the way out west.  I barely get to travel any more for work either.  :-(  Going stir crazy. 

Otherwise, just sick of hearing the hype about swine flu.  The media has cried wolf one too many times with these supposed pandemics. 

Oh, I wanted to elaborate on seeing our 'old friends' in Minneapolis.  Several of these people we hadn't seen in about 10 years.  Somehow it reminded me of attending a class reunion, where you get this 'snap shot' of how everyone 'turned out.'  It was sad to see some of our friends are still exactly as they were in their early 20s - drinking too much beer, playing in heavy metal bands, jumping from relationship to relationship, but now they are gaining weight and going gray.  

Haven't done much else.  I want to go see The Soloist, but I keep reading bad reviews.  Enjoying season 2 of Breaking Bad.  I'm falling in love with the Jesse character.  

Not much else.


March 3rd, 2009

Palm Springs

Thanks for the nudge Sammi!!  You're right, haven't updated in a long while. 

Just got back from a week in Californ-i-a, Palm Springs, to be specific.  What a crazy place.  It reminds me of Florida, but with a washed-up Hollywood star theme, and much more beautiful scenery.  (Of course, it really will always remind me of that scene from Less Than Zero where Downey Jr. is degrading himself and McCarthy comes out to rescue him "Make me understand, Julian!" "Rip made me do it!") ANYWAY, Some friends of mine from Minneapolis have a house out there, and invited me and Rob to come visit.  I knew they had done well for themselves, but holy crap.  Their house is just . . . sick!  They live up in the hills, three doors away from - seriously - Barry Manilow!  They have a gorgeous mid-century modern horse-shoe shaped house with a pool in the middle and a gorgeous view of the whole city and hills behind it.  Some people are very lucky.  Well, I shouldn't say lucky, actually.  They work hard for it.  They own their own clothing retail/wholesale business, work constantly, and made some smart investments.  Trouble is, all they ever do is work, spending all day at their store, and travelling to trade shows. All their friends seem to actually be business associates in some way,  They have this beautiful house, but rarely have time to relax and enjoy it.  

They really are a fasincating character study.  She grew up in one of the most red-necky suburbs of Minneapolis, BUT, her family was very rich.  Her mom doted on her, and pushed her to enter, and win, every contest (speech, equestrian, swimming, debate, etc) available to kids in her age group.  But then, when she was nine, her mom died.  She's still angry.  He grew up in the most upscale, affluent suburbs of Minneapolis, BUT, his parents were divorced when he was . . . (he refuses to say how old he was when they divorced.  He claims he doesn't remember and it doesn't matter).  So, he grew up poor, without a dad, in a time and neighborhood where such things were looked down upon.  He says that as a child he used to get on his bike and go from one friend's house to another in hopes of having dinner with their families.  Anything to get away from his own.  He's still angry. 

So, I guess they balance each other out.  It's good that they have each other, because they are impossible to get close to, as a friend.  So, kind of a frustrating week.  I don't think they're used to having guests. 

But, we went to Joshua Tree Nat'l Park, and the Indian Canyon hiking area which was unbelievably beautiful. 

In other news, I find I'm spending MORE money now that the economy is fucked.  I bought a new crock pot, an espresso maker, been going out for dinner.  Reason being, I see now that it was a total waste of time to sock away so much of my paycheck into a 401K, and contribute to an IRA.  It's all becoming valueless.  I wish I would have done like most people and blown all my money on going out for coffee, lunch, and drinks every day.   So, now I just spend whatever I feel like.  If I go broke, I'll get bailed out, won't I? 

Otherwise, Rob has decided not to take the Teach for America job.  It's just not where his heart is, and he'd rather go in a direction which relates to his educational background and experience. 

I'm thinking about disconnecting my cable service.  Tired of watching TV.  I did catch the premiere of Jimmy Fallon last night though. I was scared he was going to be another Chevy Chase debacle, but he was actually okay.  But, it seemed like DeNiro was asking himself why he bothered to show up for this interview, I don't think Jimmy was very good with him. 

That's about it. 

October 9th, 2008

Writer's Block: The Beatles

In their heyday, The Beatles were the center of the pop universe. Many groups have been hailed as the next Beatles, but does pop music even have a center anymore? Who represents the core of pop music to you?
Pop music no longer has a center.   That fact becomes obvious as you read through the other LJ'ers answers.  I see very few bands being mentioned by more than one person.  In order for there to be a "center" there needs to be unity.  (Of course, it's questionable if the Beatles were "really" the core in the 60s.  It's pretty well known that Herb Alpert was selling more records than the Beatles.)  But anyway, today, everyone has their own personal "core of pop music," and can listen to it in the privacy of their own personal ipod.
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