Michelle's Journal

2009 Recap

2009-12-30T19:43:29Z

One more day. Then it's next year.   This year wasn't so bad. Didn't post so much, but there wasn't much to say.

Recap of 2009: I read a lot, which was good; still trying to catch up on all the classics I never got around to. Read: Humboldt's Gift by Saul Bellow, Myra Breckenridge by Gore Vidal, Ida by Gertrude Stein, Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis, and Kafka on the Shore by . . . can't remember author's name. Humboldt's Gift seriously took up most of the year. Babbitt was hilarious and I'd recommend it.

Travels: went to Palm Springs and Joshua Tree. Went to Fargo. Went to Knoxville. And went on a surprisingly enjoyable road trip through rural Indiana looking at bridges. Not the kind of travel I used to do. :-(   I was SUPPOSED to go to Minnesota to visit family for Christmas, but the blizzard made that impossible. So, had a blue blue blue Christmas.

Other Stuff: reconnected with several old friends, including two ex-boyfriends. It was odd that they both contacted me, one via Facebook, and the other just showed up at my desk at work one day. (he works for the same company as me, but out in a field office). The one who showed up at work was this person who I always secretly thought I should've been with, and every time Rob and I have issues I would 'go there' in my mind and imagine life with him and how perfect it all would have been. Needless to say, when he was standing at my desk we had nothing to talk about and whatever chemistry I had once imagined is no longer there. And the Facebook guy is now living the high life in Hollywood after having some unbelievable success with his screen play. He's happily married now, and I can clearly see that he and I never would have worked out. So that's that. Now there's no where left to 'go'!   ha ha.

Learned how to bake fruit cake. Turned out pretty good. Tried to keep job skills up to date. Tried to help Rob find a job, and tried to keep his self esteem from dwindling while he hunts. Tried to ignore the economy and avoid CNN. Starting to feel the itch to move on, away from Chicago. Not sure to where. But I want to be somewhere where I can have a car! I think I need to set serious goals for 2010.

That's about it. Hope everyone else had a good year, and has a happy new years eve, etc. XOXO

Gram-Fic

2009-12-24T18:27:25Z

I've written my first piece of fan fic dedicated to Gram Parsons. If you enjoy fanfic, enjoy it. If not, don't read. Merry Christmas!

Gram-Fic #1 or "The Flying Burrito Brothers have an Awkward Dinner at Bob Parsons' New Orleans Home"

When their car arrived, the sun was already setting into the flat murky pinkness which seemed to stretch forever beyond the balconies and wrought iron railings and shuttered windows of the antebellum mansion. The car had come from even further beyond, traversing the endless wet flatness, that expanse of life hidden from view by the thick black Louisiana swamp, and before that, the hilly empty dustiness of America, and before that, the embracing lights and warmth of Los Angeles, to deliver its cargo here. Here, into this labyrinth of balconies and wrought iron, and into the antebellum mansion itself, with its French doors, which were open to reveal a dining room table that delicately rested on a large open patio. The table was waiting. It had been exquisitely adorned by the servants that afternoon, and now was brimming with Bob’s Cajun-flavored creations in anticipation of the car’s arrival.

“Wow,” Chris Hillman whispered to Chris Ethridge, who was staring at the hulking structure which loomed over them with equal amazement. They looked at each other, then looked at Gram Parsons as if to say really?, but Gram didn’t notice them; he was already opening the car door, tossing a rust-colored chiffon scarf that had fallen off during the drive over his neck, and thrusting his long legs out into the humid air.

The remaining passengers, “Sneaky” Pete and Phil Kaufman, had also gotten out of the car, and the four band mates and their manager walked together up the grandiose staircase, through the imposing pillars, to the front door, their long hair and tight corduroy pants sharply contrasting the antique mustiness of their surroundings. They didn’t notice that they were being watched, stared at, from one of the balconies.

Before knocking, Gram hesitated. With his hand raised mid-air, his long fingers extended, he looked at Chris Hillman, and his other band mates, but mostly at Chris. Chris felt something, a confusion, or tension, a reluctance perhaps. “Before we go in I should probably tell you . . . “

But Gram was unable to finish the thought. A man had swung both double doors open simultaneously with a powerful swoosh that created a burst of air and energy, disrupting the humid dusk, disrupting the carefully-placed rust-colored scarf, disrupting the moment.

“Gram! You made it!” A stylish woman of a questionable age wrapped her arms around him. “Y’all must be tired. This is the band?”

The man who had opened the doors stood close by her, waiting his turn.

“This is the band,” Gram confirmed. With one arm draped over the woman’s shoulder, he gestured dramatically at the group with the other, as though presenting her with grand marble statues. Moving his gesture to the woman he continued the introduction. “And this is Bonnie, my . . . mom. She had me when she was three. Amazing woman.” Smiling, Bonnie rolled her eyes and gave him a jab with her elbow.

The man who had opened the doors was Bob Parsons. He shook the hand of each band member, lingering too long, his eyes twinkling, his dinner jacket gleaming. Chris Hillman couldn’t help but notice that Gram had been influenced by this man, that Bob’s charm and style had undoubtedly been contagious to him as a teenager. Phil couldn’t help feeling the desire to wash his hand the minute Bob let go. Sneaky Pete and Chris Ethridge couldn’t help but be distracted by the enticing spicy air which wafted in from the open French doors.

During the greetings with Bob, the band hadn’t noticed the quiet figure who had floated down the staircase into the foyer. They hadn’t noticed that she and Gram had met eyes, or how similar their eyes were, or that they had silently rushed to each other, embracing warmly. They only noticed her when Gram announced, “Band, this is my sister, Little Avis.”

*********

Silver forks and knives scraped against china plates. The clean satin table cloth did its best to contain the bowls and beer bottles and condiments placed upon it. Shrimp was plentiful. Cajun air mixed with humidity, smothering them all with intensity of flavor. Bob spoke about his most recent investment ventures. Bonnie spoke about the weather. The band spoke about their tour. About L.A. About their album. Little Avis listened.

Droplets of sweat formed on the exposed skin of each band member, who were unaccustomed to the sultry New Orleans air. One by one they removed their custom-made jackets and felt their t-shirts clinging to their bodies, becoming moist and salty in the oppressive environment. Gram joked that Chris Hillman’s hair was beginning to frizz.

“And when we played in Oklahoma City, we actually had kids requesting Merle Haggard songs. It’s different in L.A.”

“Man, this food is really good.”

Servants replenished their drinks.

Little Avis had stopped eating. Actually, she had never started eating. She had just been pushing Bob’s Cajun flavored creations around on the china plate in front of her.

Bob noticed.

“Avis, please eat,” he sounded annoyed.

She rolled her eyes.

Phil smiled to himself, noting the typical teenage behavior. But, in doing so, he saw that Avis had noticed, and had affixed her eyes directly onto him. He suddenly felt as if she could read his mind, the blue eyes piercing into him, eerily similar to Gram’s, yet different, different.

“What time to you have to go tomorrow?” Bob was asking any band member who cared to answer. The band all looked at Phil, whom they trusted to keep track of such things.

Distracted, Phil pulled his eyes away from the trance-inducing stare which held him, and rubbed his mustache to recall. “Early. We’ll be outta here early. Gotta show tomorrow night.”

“But . . . you just got here.” It was the first time Little Avis had spoken during dinner. Her voice was soft, almost a whisper, smooth, and well enunciated.

Gram replied to her by raising his eye brows and wrinkling his upper lip into an innocent ‘I-know-but-there’s-nothing-I-can-do-about-it’ shrug.

“I’ll take some more shrimp,” Sneaky Pete requested.

As if on cue a servant materialized from a side room and fulfilled Pete’s request. She also loaded up the plates of Chris Hillman, Chris Ethridge, and Phil. She brought another glass of ice and whiskey for Gram.

Avis put her silver fork down. She had turned away from Phil and was now watching Gram. Gram was also pushing Bob’s creations around on his plate, but would occasionally stab a piece of shrimp or sausage and savor it. He would also occasionally look up from his plate and look away from the table completely, away from the balcony and away from the antebellum structure which girded them, into what had been the murky pinkness upon his arrival, but was now a black void. The swamp and the dusty hills and California and all of it were still out there, but now were hidden behind the black void.

“Can I go?” Avis asked him.

Gram slowly turned to her, holding his glass of ice and whiskey in front of his mouth, coming back from blackness which beckoned him. “What?”

“You can’t leave already.” Her soft voice was becoming louder. “If you leave I want to go with you. Can I go?” She moved her stare to Phil. “Manager, can’t I go?”

“Avis . . . “ Bonnie sounded nervous.

“No, you can’t.” Gram said it gently, softly. Their identical eyes met, and for a second they were the only two people in the room.

The conversation resumed, but Avis continued to watch Gram, silently pleading with him, and getting no response. Frustrated, she picked up her fork and intentionally flicked her rice out from the china plate onto the clean satin table cloth. Then, she slid closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, her face turned away from the group. “Don’t leave Gram. Don’t leave me here with them,” her smooth voice breaking as she spoke.

Chris noticed that Gram did not appear surprised by her actions. Instead, he adjusted his arm so that her head rested more comfortably, stroked her brown hair, which seemed to combine and blend directly with his own, and continued to eat, accepting the feel of salty wetness which began to seep into his shirt.

Bob, however, abruptly clapped his hands and a new servant materialized. Avis’ personal attendant. “Please take her out. She’s upset. Get her medicine.”

As the attendant approached, Gram, now completely surprised, instinctively put both arms around his sister, “Wait, medicine, what? Why?”

Bonnie looked at him patiently. “She gets this way.”

“What way? She’s not doing anything.”

Bob was impatient. “Let go of her, Gram.”

But Gram locked his left arm securely around Little Avis’s back, his hand reaching up to cover her ear. Avis had already thrown both arms around him, her head buried in his neck and shoulder, now audibly sobbing. She clung desperately, resisting all attempts by the attendant to pry her away.

“Don’t take her . . . she doesn’t need to go,” Gram pleaded. Chris recalled it was the exact same tone Gram had used to plead with the crowd following their gig at Altamont.

“We’re having dinner.” Bob reminded everyone, waving his hand in the direction of their bewildered house guests, most of whom held their silver forks or pieces of shrimp mid-air, as if frozen. “Now take her away.”

Gram shook his head and mouthed the word ‘no’ at the attendant, refusing to give up his hold.

“Look, you haven’t been around, as usual, Gram. You wouldn’t know. We’ve taken her to see every doctor in New Orleans. Look at her now! It’s always like this. She doesn’t eat. She doesn’t sleep. She barely leaves her room. I don’t know what to do with her!”

Gram stared at Bob in disbelief. “So you drug her? She doesn’t need a doctor! I know what she needs. I know how she feels.” He felt himself flushing. “She was thirteen when mom died. She’s just, hurt. She just needs . . . “ He glanced at his band mates ” . . . friends, she needs inspiration, and—and—something.” Gram spoke into her hair as he cradled her head against his shoulder. He whispered something to Avis which was inaudible to the rest of the table.

“I’m her father. I’ll handle her as I need to,” Bob retorted.

“You’re not my father,” Avis whispered, but Gram was the only one who heard it.

“You’re not her father,” Gram knew he shouldn’t have said it, but couldn’t stop.

Bob set his fork down and leaned forward. “Not her father? Not your father?” he rolled his eyes and gestured broadly toward the heavens. “I’m honestly tired of this. I do everything for you! Who cooked this dinner? Who got you into Harvard? Who got you out of going to Vietnam? Who loved and supported your music? Who adopted you! I’ve done nothing but be there for you two, and does your family ever appreciate it? Do you? Look at you! Drunk just like—“ he shook his head. “Not your father . . . well, your real father didn’t do those things for you, did he!”

The stunned frozen state of the house guests was broken only by Phil, who stood up abruptly, and rested a protective hand on Gram’s shoulder. “Hey now,” he began.

But Gram seemed to not have heard anything Bob said. He resumed the topic of Avis’ well being. But his voice had changed. “Bob, you can’t just throw money at her and expect to fix it. She doesn’t need a doctor, and she doesn’t need any fucking medication—“

The crack of Bob’s fist on the table cut through Gram’s voice and through the heavy wet air which shrouded and sheltered the group. The rippling jump of each china plate and bowl of shrimp and silver fork and bottle of beer immediately followed, sending a split-second echo of sharpness and piercing clangs to spread across the table like a wave ripping through the land after an earthquake. Gram visibly flinched as the shockwave hit him, causing Avis to flinch too. But Bob was already on his feet, leaning impossibly far over the table, his arm extended, his index finger extended, close but still far from Gram’s face. “YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH! There are ladies present.”

The reverberation died as suddenly as it had begun, and the loud silence which followed was broken only by a low guttural groan of an alligator in the near distance. As if moving in reverse-slow-motion, Bob retracted his finger, retracted his arm, and steadily lowered himself back into his place at the head of the table.

“Okay,” Gram replied calmly, raising his hand parallel to the table, as if to indicate that this was enough, that there was no need to shout, that everything was fine. “I’m sorry Bonnie. I’m very sorry,” he said regretfully, with a politeness that satisfied Bob, atoned the affront to Bonnie, allowed Phil to sit back down, and soothed his frightened band mates, who, one by one, began to breathe again. The frozen silver forks tentatively resumed scraping against china, the shrimp was shakily peeled and deposited into mouths, untasted and unwelcomed. Gram continued to hold Avis, now calm, but limp and lifeless, against him.

“Well, I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you.” Bob smiled. “Now let’s eat.” He pushed a large bowl of gumbo toward Chris Hillman. “I made this just for you.”

“It’s delicious,” Gram assured Chris. “And dad made all this just for you!” But Chris noticed that Gram could not make eye contact with him.

“So where to next?” Bonnie inquired. “You’re going on to Memphis from here?”

“Yeah,” Sneaky Pete replied, after realizing that no one else was going to. Chris continued his attempt to make sympathetic eye contact with Gram. Gram continued to stare anywhere except back at Chris. “Memphis, then on to Nashville. It’s been going great. Really great.”

As the conversation continued, never venturing beyond the topic of the band’s tour or the nearby alligator, Gram patted Little Avis gently on her arm, and loosened his grip. While her head remained on his shoulder, he picked up the silver knife which had been assigned to his place at the dinner table, and buttered a piece of corn bread. Attempting to look at her face, he lifted the corn bread towards her mouth, offering it to her, enticing her to please please eat.

“But I doubt if we’ll make it as far as Philly. It’s supposed to snow. Plus, some of us want to visit Mississippi.”

When Avis just sighed at the corn bread, Gram touched it against the tip of her nose, leaving a playful smear of butter. Surprised, and unaware that anyone at the table was watching her, she raised her head and smiled at him. Gram smiled too. He continued to tease her, pushing the corn bread against her lips, forcing the ridiculously large buttery chunk into her mouth. She laughed and accepted it, admonishing him with a whispered “stop it, Gram.” He laughed too, but also only as a whisper, and he wiped her face clean with the silk cloth of his serviette. And for another second they were the only two people in the room.

michie_readme @ 2009-11-30T15:12:00

2009-11-30T21:12:35Z

Thanksgiving once again. Mine was a little dull this year. Just me and Rob, which isn't a bad thing, don't get me wrong, but I think we both are just starting to envy people with big families. Seems like there's not much left to either of our families, and I don't know, the holidays just remind us both of when we were little, when you just took for granted that holidays would be a big celebration with all the usual family members. So, now, I guess, it just feels a little empty. But, we made a delicious turkey, drank champagne, and watched some corny Hallmark films, and had a relaxing time.

Otherwise, for the past five days or so I've been obsessing on Gram Parsons. I think his spirit entered my body last year when I was at Joshua Tree, and he's been lying dormant, waiting for the right moment to emerge and thrust his sexy tortured soul back into the center of my consciousness. kidding. But anyway, I constantly have one earbud plugged in while I'm at work, listening to him gently sadly crooning Hickory Wind or Juanita or Sing Me Back Home, and can't focus on anything but his voice. Beautiful.

Rob is still job hunting. He got an internship at a museum, which will hopefully help him get his foot in the door. But job hunting in this environment really is just an exercise in banging your head against a brick wall. He doesn't even get rejection letters--he just gets ignored.

Hoping it will snow pretty soon. It's been rainy and dreary.

This 'n That

2009-05-01T15:46:36Z

Hey Hey. It's finally spring in Chicago. Just got back from a big road trip. Went up to Minneapolis to visit my mom and sister and my adorable four year old niece. We also saw a bunch of old friends. Then drove all the way down to Knoxville to visit Rob's parents. We cleaned out one of our storage units (we had accumulated so much crap in Florida that we had TWO storage units) and had a massive garage sale. Feels so good to get rid of stuff!  We had kept some ridiculous things (a sno-cone maker?!), and we didn't make enough money in the garage sale to cover the cost of storing all those things for the past 2 1/2 years. Pointless! Should have thrown everything out. Next time I'll know better.

But the best part of the trip was just being in a car again. I miss that freedom. Even driving across flat boring Indiana was fun. I wanted to keep going, and just drive drive drive, all the way out west. I barely get to travel any more for work either. :-( Going stir crazy.

Otherwise, just sick of hearing the hype about swine flu. The media has cried wolf one too many times with these supposed pandemics.

Oh, I wanted to elaborate on seeing our 'old friends' in Minneapolis. Several of these people we hadn't seen in about 10 years. Somehow it reminded me of attending a class reunion, where you get this 'snap shot' of how everyone 'turned out.' It was sad to see some of our friends are still exactly as they were in their early 20s - drinking too much beer, playing in heavy metal bands, jumping from relationship to relationship, but now they are gaining weight and going gray.

Haven't done much else.  I want to go see The Soloist, but I keep reading bad reviews.  Enjoying season 2 of Breaking Bad.  I'm falling in love with the Jesse character.

Not much else.

Palm Springs

2009-03-03T15:45:48Z

Thanks for the nudge Sammi!! You're right, haven't updated in a long while.

Just got back from a week in Californ-i-a, Palm Springs, to be specific. What a crazy place. It reminds me of Florida, but with a washed-up Hollywood star theme, and much more beautiful scenery. (Of course, it really will always remind me of that scene from Less Than Zero where Downey Jr. is degrading himself and McCarthy comes out to rescue him "Make me understand, Julian!" "Rip made me do it!") ANYWAY, Some friends of mine from Minneapolis have a house out there, and invited me and Rob to come visit. I knew they had done well for themselves, but holy crap. Their house is just . . . sick! They live up in the hills, three doors away from - seriously - Barry Manilow! They have a gorgeous mid-century modern horse-shoe shaped house with a pool in the middle and a gorgeous view of the whole city and hills behind it. Some people are very lucky. Well, I shouldn't say lucky, actually. They work hard for it. They own their own clothing retail/wholesale business, work constantly, and made some smart investments. Trouble is, all they ever do is work, spending all day at their store, and travelling to trade shows. All their friends seem to actually be business associates in some way, They have this beautiful house, but rarely have time to relax and enjoy it.

They really are a fasincating character study. She grew up in one of the most red-necky suburbs of Minneapolis, BUT, her family was very rich. Her mom doted on her, and pushed her to enter, and win, every contest (speech, equestrian, swimming, debate, etc) available to kids in her age group. But then, when she was nine, her mom died. She's still angry. He grew up in the most upscale, affluent suburbs of Minneapolis, BUT, his parents were divorced when he was . . . (he refuses to say how old he was when they divorced. He claims he doesn't remember and it doesn't matter). So, he grew up poor, without a dad, in a time and neighborhood where such things were looked down upon. He says that as a child he used to get on his bike and go from one friend's house to another in hopes of having dinner with their families. Anything to get away from his own. He's still angry.

So, I guess they balance each other out. It's good that they have each other, because they are impossible to get close to, as a friend. So, kind of a frustrating week. I don't think they're used to having guests.

But, we went to Joshua Tree Nat'l Park, and the Indian Canyon hiking area which was unbelievably beautiful.

In other news, I find I'm spending MORE money now that the economy is fucked. I bought a new crock pot, an espresso maker, been going out for dinner. Reason being, I see now that it was a total waste of time to sock away so much of my paycheck into a 401K, and contribute to an IRA. It's all becoming valueless. I wish I would have done like most people and blown all my money on going out for coffee, lunch, and drinks every day. So, now I just spend whatever I feel like. If I go broke, I'll get bailed out, won't I?

Otherwise, Rob has decided not to take the Teach for America job. It's just not where his heart is, and he'd rather go in a direction which relates to his educational background and experience.

I'm thinking about disconnecting my cable service. Tired of watching TV. I did catch the premiere of Jimmy Fallon last night though. I was scared he was going to be another Chevy Chase debacle, but he was actually okay. But, it seemed like DeNiro was asking himself why he bothered to show up for this interview, I don't think Jimmy was very good with him.

That's about it.

Writer's Block: The Beatles

2008-10-09T20:52:53Z

In their heyday, The Beatles were the center of the pop universe. Many groups have been hailed as the next Beatles, but does pop music even have a center anymore? Who represents the core of pop music to you?

View 500 Answers

Pop music no longer has a center. That fact becomes obvious as you read through the other LJ'ers answers. I see very few bands being mentioned by more than one person. In order for there to be a "center" there needs to be unity. (Of course, it's questionable if the Beatles were "really" the core in the 60s. It's pretty well known that Herb Alpert was selling more records than the Beatles.) But anyway, today, everyone has their own personal "core of pop music," and can listen to it in the privacy of their own personal ipod.

24 hour Pointless Shit

2008-10-01T18:03:51Z

I've decided that news stations shouldn't be allowed to cover elections.

Candidates would have to campaign in the following ways:
1) Distribute pamphlets and flyers
2) Have an official web site where you lay out all of your positions on issues, and plans for your presidency
3) Officially endorsed campaign ads on TV, radio, internet.
4) Public speeches
5) Debates in which there is NO MODERATOR. The candidates just have to have a conversation with each other. Maybe we'd allow questions from the audience, I'm still thinking about that one.

I'm just so tired of only hearing snippets of sound bites, and clips of speeches which CNN or Fox News or CNBC has determined will produce the best ratings for their station. Our candidates are out there speaking all day, but we only get to see the carefully-screened "highlights" looped over and over on our 24 hour news channels, along with their "fair and unbiased" commentary. It's impossible to have unbiased commentary. Can you think of any anchorman/woman whose candidate choice you CAN'T determine after listening to them talk for five minutes? You always know. (Hmm, actually . . . Jim Lehrer . . . who will he vote for?) But, anyway, I'm just tired of being told what to think. Grrrr.

They'll be a load o' compromisin'

2008-09-24T15:31:25Z

Funny thing - I just noticed the last two entries I've made to my journal I accidentally flagged as Private, so I've just been writing to myself. ha ha.

Anyway, big changes goin down. First thing is Rob has gotten hired to teach an art history class at the school where he graduated, so now he can officially add "adjunct professor" to his resume. So yay! He's been enjoying it, but it's only one class, and it takes up 100% of his time. How do people do it? Hopefully he will be able to teach it again next semester. I've switched to a new department at work, the Research and Development dept. It's a whole new world. I no longer get to drive around the world making maps, but instead get to sit in my cubie and write up 'process documents' which then sit on a shelf somewhere. And I miss my old peeps. But, can't complain. At least now I can sorta say I WRITE for a living!

Anyway, thoughts of the economy are consuming my every waking moment, so let me try to sort out what I think . . . here goes: My first instinct was "shut up and bail." This is one of those rare occasions where it's better to just act now and ask questions later. It's one of those rare occasions where the media and politicians and CEOs and financial advisors should just turn a blind eye and say "Yes! The bailout is a great idea!" even if it's not. 99% of the economy is perception and consumer confidence. And if people perceive that the bailout will work, then it will work. I swear Anderson Cooper has more power over the economy than Paulson! BUT, what's happened now is we've waited too long. We've taken the time to think about it, and debate it, and when it's an election year, no one wants to be the one who supported it if it goes bad, and no one wants to be the one who was against it if it works out well. By waiting, we're just forcing politicians to take a stand on something they likely know nothing about. (They only have two goals. 1) to get elected. 2) to get re-elected.) None of them would ever be willing to come out and say that in many ways, the American people ARE to blame for this. The collective greed of our local realtors, local lenders, home sellers, home buyers, home flippers, and local do-gooder activists who wanted "every American to be able to own a home" regardless of their financial shortcomings, are all as much to blame as Fannie and Freddie executives. But, now I'm scared that we're screwed no matter what we do. It's probably too late for the bailout to work now, now that everyone has had time to debate the merits of it.

The scariest thing I read was that, if we don't do the bailout, credit companies will be forced to tighten credit to a virtual halt, MANY companies cover payrolls with credit (which is scary in itself), so suddenly no one would be getting paid, AND, no one would be able to use their credit cards. The only option at that point would be to pull your savings out of the bank, so everyone would do that. Who wouldn't? But the run on banks is exactly what caused the depression in 1930, and we'd be forced into making the same mistake again. At that point, basically every bank would run dry, and there would be no credit, no paychecks, and wallstreet would tank, everyone's 401K would be worthless. I know you're not supposed to panic in these situations, but man.

But obviously, on the other hand, the bailout is a bad idea. We don't have the money "lying around" so we'd basically be 'printing' new money in order to finance this, which would further dilute the dollar. Plus, there are going to be other industries 'getting in line' to be bailed out next. It will likely not end until we completely transition into a socialist society. So then I think, if the market is going down, maybe it's SUPPOSED to go down, and the govt should just stay out. It can't go up perpetually. Sometimes I think what we NEED is a good old fashioned depression! So many people are used to grabbing a starbucks, driving an SUV, cranking the air conditioning, buying the latest iphone, buying a mcmansion, without a second thought. It still amazes me how incomes are higher than they've ever been, but how many people have no savings whatsoever. And housing prices are still inflated above what they should be.

So, who knows. I guess what will be will be.

Well I really don't mind the rain. And a smile can hide all the pain. But yer down when yer riding the train, that's takin the long way.

Fargo

2008-04-29T22:36:54Z

Just spent two weeks in Fargo once again. I'm starting to like that town. Sometimes I think I could live there. But then again . . . The best part was over the weekend I drove down to Minneapolis to visit my mom and sister and my totally cute 3 year old niece. We played with balloons for about 3 hours. She never gets tired.I love how, with kids, if some activity is fun ONCE, then it's even MORE fun 50 times in a row. The same joke. The same game. Over and over again. But I had a great time. It's also cool how we've found she actually prefers simple household objects over expensive toys. All the 'educational' talking electronic toys are sitting broken in the back of the closet, but she will play with a marker and a cardboard box, or measuring cups, or balloons, for hours. Which is good, I think. I've made kind of a point to never buy her gifts. Maybe this is egotistical, but I like to think that when I come to visit her, I AM the gift, and she looks forward to seeing me. I buy her U.S. savings bonds for Christmas. Someday she'll appreciate it, I hope. But the bad thing was, on the drive back to Fargo, I got a speeding ticket. A speeding ticket! Sweet, innocent me! So unfair.

Anyway, now I'm back in Chicago, and my life is about to be radically altered because . . . drum roll . . . Rob is graduating in one week!! I'm proud of him, and his parents are coming to the graduation ceremony, which is probably going to be stressful as hell. The sad thing though, is I don't think he has the same sense of pride and accomplishment. He woke up depressed this morning, feeling like the whole ordeal was pointless, and it just stripped him of six years of his life, and left him with a bitter taste and eroded self confidence, and he could have been better off financially if he'd worked at McDonalds for the last six years instead of going to school.  I try to be optimistic, but at the same time, I know an advanced degree in the humanities field doesn't have an obvious pay off, especially as you get older, and especially when unemployment is getting higher and higher. Neither of us are sure what he is going to do now. But somehow I know opportunities will open up. It was a smart thing to do . . . wasn't it?

Anyway, watched the most cute touching French film last night for Rob's film class, called Forbidden Games. Corny title, but really sweet sad film - best child acting I've ever seen. Bawled my head off.   We actually had to watch a bunch of French films: Breathless, 400 Blows, Therese Requim, Children of Paradise, and one other one about a French guy and a German guy who were friends during WWII, but I can't remember the title. I never really knew much about French film, so, even if he doesn't appreciate his degree, at least I'm learning something! ha ha.

That's about it.

Easter - good time for a resurrection

2008-04-01T17:20:41Z

AHHHHHH!!!!!! Okay, remind me never to do THAT again. I go a little stircrazy without some kind of outlet for spewing my opininons about society and everything I think is wrong with it. Bottling it up is a bad idea. Must. Have. Outlet. And I am missing my LJ friends! Okay. So, here I am. Back on the great LJ highway.

Not much is new, actually. The most exciting thing was I got to go to India for my job. India! What a trip. It was exactly like what you picture India being. I had a wonderful time. Nicest people in the world. And I didn't even get sick until I was halfway home at the Amsterdam airport. Puking on a plane is always a joy.

But, back at home, I've been having some neighbor troubles. Such is condo life, I suppose. My nerdy neighbor on the one side has SOMEHOW acquired a girlfriend. We're not sure how this has happened, but now we are subjected to their weekend sessions and this woman is unbelievably loud. They've actually toned it down a bit in recent weeks though - kind of sad to listen to their enthusiasm fade. Used to go for about 20 minutes, now she's lucky if she gets 10. Ha ha.  But then, if that's not bad ENOUGH, my neighbor on the other side, whom I've never actually SEEN, has somehow acquired a boyfriend. The dude is a complete psychopath. He stands outside her door in a drunken rage because she has locked him out, banging on the door screaming that he has to come in and use the bathroom. Then a few minutes later, he'll start CRYING and says he "didn't mean to" and eventually she lets him in. Very disturbing. I know it will escalate in a bad way one of these times. I'm not sure what to do.

This weekend I finished reading On the Road for what I believe is the fourth time now. I never get tired of reading it. I wish I could write like that.   Kerouac is such a poet. My favorite scene is where Dean is in the backseat and he looks up to the sky with his eyes reddening and says "Lord, where am I going? What will become of me?" Isn't that just it?  And my other favorite part is when they finally make it to Mexico, and they observe that the local people crowd around the new highway which has been built right through their village, and how they surround the car, holding out their hands "begging for civiliztion to give them something" completely unaware of the truth of civilization, that a nuclear bomb has just been detonated on the other side of the world, unaware that they probably already have all they need in their own culture, but are nevertheless reaching out, thinking we have something new and important to give them.

So, otherwise, just been following the election coverage, which is pretty hard to avoid. I'm really annoyed with all these "news" programs deciding for everybody who the president should be. I hate how, after every debate, every journalist has to come on the air and tell us who "won." Can't we decide this for ourselves? But, despite that, I'm actually happy with the candidates and for the first time, I think, EVER, I'd actually be happy with any of them. Out of all the Republicans in the world, McCain is probably one of the least threatening. Hilary's had a practice run, and I think she learned a lot,, and would come back better and wiser, and could accomplish some great things, and Obama I think would bring people together, and would improve the world's opinion of us. So, it'll be interesting to see what happens. I'm just glad I don't live in Florida any more.

michie_readme @ 2007-11-30T14:12:00

2007-11-30T20:14:49Z

Ok.

I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I just don’t have time to LJ as much as I would like. Therefore, rather than letting my poor journal dwindle on indefinitely, taking up cyber space, which I’ve been doing, I’ve decided to give it a proper send-off. This will be my last post. This journal was a lot of fun, and meant a lot to me, so I’m not going to take it down completely, since I’m sure I will log in from time to time to read friends’ journals, and will probably want to comment from time to time. And who knows, maybe I’ll want to start it up again in the not-so-distant future.

Hmm, I feel like I should have some profound statement or song lyric or quote to insert here, but . . . I can’t think of one! So, hippiedork – papadood – Tanya – dana – sammi – lather – I’ll just say, thanks for your friendship. Take care y’all and have a happy holiday!

Love

Michie

Fur

2007-10-16T20:38:31Z

Finally saw “Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus” this weekend. I really liked it, but wow, it was so much like Secretary. Everything about it—how all the actors whisper their lines, the coloring and ambience of the set, the theme of personal growth and exploration of ‘unconventional’ desires. You’d swear it was like, the same characters, just transported to a new place and time. Nicole Kidman’s mannerisms were totally Lee Holloway-esque, and when Robert Downey whispers “Diane, closssse your eyessss,” all I could think was “fffffour peas.” My husband had some issues with the ‘imaginary portrait” concept. He thought the film was interesting enough to stand on its own and it was ridiculous and irresponsible that they would “use” Diane Arbus in this way. He thought it would have been far more interesting to keep the story exactly the same, but just change the names, and then the educated viewer could speculate as to whether it is really “about” Diane Arbus and the uneducated viewer would not be given fictitious impressions of what she was like. So, I could see his point, but on the other hand I totally get the Imaginary Portrait concept. It’s just like taking your Real Person Fiction to the extreme and actually making it into a feature film.(oooh, I want to). I like that term better than RPF. Imaginary Portrait. Very cool. Anyway, it was really good film, (although it fell into beauty-and-the-beast clichés a bit at times). But the ending was beautiful and it amazed me how Robert Downey Jr. still manages to look sexy with Chewbacca hair all over his being.

Kid in a Candy Store

2007-10-01T00:47:25Z

Not much is new. Just got back from a week in Fargo. Fargo! Gone are my exotic travelin’ days I guess. But Fargo was actually quite fun. I was there for my company’s annual meeting of database engineers. A nice gathering of about 30 nerds from around the globe (mostly Europeans), of which there are only three females, including me (chick power!) Had a good time, went bowling, ate lots of walleye and drank a few Leinenkugels. Everyone complained about the lack of quality coffee. Apparently Caribou Coffee doesn’t quite compare to an Italian café. But they enjoyed the bison steak, and wild rice soup which Fargo had to offer. Fargo’s really not a bad food town. You can actually get excellent Indian and Mexican food if you know where to look. But anyway, now I’m back in Chicago, trying to continue my diet. I’ve lost 10 pounds since July, slowly but surely. Seems to be staying off too. The only bad thing about losing weight is it reveals all the other things that are wrong with your body. Like I noticed my waist is freakishly short, and I’ve got a really bony chest, (where really voluptuous cleavage should be). Oh well.

Anyway, Rob is totally stressed out from school. His mean professors are making him write three huge papers this semester. His autumn weekends are spent staring at his laptop buried in a pile of books on postmodern architecture. I always volunteer to proofread his stuff. It was easier when he was an undergraduate—now I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about half the time.

I really don’t know who I’m going to vote for. I went so far as to do a big self-analysis and write down all my political beliefs and then try to compare them to the candidates. It seems exactly half of mine are democratic ideals and the other half tend to fall into the Republican category. Don’t know. Leaning toward Hillary.

Otherwise, just been watching TV. Liked the premier of Boston Legal. (Of course Brad Chase is the D.A! Brilliant. Brilliant) Liked John Laroquette more than I expected. Otherwise, still addicted to the movie channel. As we speak I’m enjoying a film called “David and Lisa.” Pretty intense. Okay. Completely engrossed now . . .

My Favorite Hair Band

2007-08-08T15:03:00Z

My D drive crashed on Friday. God! Why?? Lost most of my i-tunes. Guess it’s my own fault, since I hadn’t backed it up since 2005. Oops. I ran a bunch of those free programs which try to recover it, but no luck. I’m sending it out for diagnosis by a recover y place, but I hear it’s about 2 grand for them to actually recover the data, if it’s even possible. *cries* So anyway, my tech support dept at work has been kind enough to let me use a loaner, but it runs really slow.

Anyway, I’m going to Minneapolis the week after next to visit friends, family and the State Fair. Minnesota has a huge state fair. I hear Texas has a really good one too, but I’ve never been there. I’m freaked out and saddened by the freeway bridge collapse in downtown Minneapolis though. I’ve probably been over that bridge 1000 times. Everyone who lives there has. It’s right in the heart of downtown. And it’s an interstate! How could this happen? But watching the rescue efforts makes me proud to be from there. It looks like those people really gave 110% and the medical and emergency personnel seemed really well organized and efficient. And it sounds like citizens were doing everything they could to help too. Compared to everywhere else I’ve lived, Minnesota is by far the most community oriented. People there help each other even when there’s not an emergency. Neighbors shovel each others sidewalks. It was amazing, when I lived in Orlando, how different it was. I remember after the hurricane people were literally throwing debris in their neighbors’ lawns to “get rid of it.” Sad. I’m so glad I’m outta there.

Otherwise, been reminiscing lately about the late 80’s. I remember this band called Company of Wolves, who never really achieved the fame level of most of the hair bands of the day (yeah, I’ll ‘fess up. I listened to hair bands . . .) Company of Wolves was a bit more serious than most of the hair bands though – kind of Black Crowes-ish, but with a New York/Lou Reed vibe.) But then they were overthrown by Nirvana in 1991, along with most of the bands from that genre. Anyway, my friend who worked at a record store and I met a few of the members in a health food store by chance when they were playing First Avenue in Mpls back in 1990. They were so cool, and invited us to watch their show from backstage since we were underage, invited us and some other fans onto their tour bus, treated us to an impromptu jam session, and their guitarist Steve Conte even let me play his guitar. And, they were perfect gentlemen! No hanky panky goin on. (not that I would have minded . . . ) Then they had a gig in Milwaukee the next weekend, and we drove out there to see it. Partied in their hotel hot tub, (I’ve got pictures of them jumping on the bed), got reprimanded by hotel security, got to see their show, and hang out with them while they did radio interviews. I felt so cool! They really treated all their fans like friends. So anyway, I hadn’t thought about them for years, but woke up this morning with one of their songs going through my head and just had to google. Turns out they are no longer together, of course, but all still have music careers, and have kept cranking out albums and projects all this time. And Steve Conte is now touring with the New York Dolls, and has developed a strong following among the Manga crowd for having done a sound track for some anime thing. Cool. Anyway, here’s some funny “then and now” pics. If my photo albums weren’t buried away somewhere in my storage space I’d scan in some of my person photos. I forgot how cute Steve was/is. What a rock star! Might have to buy this album . . .

Go to the Mirror, Boy

2007-07-27T17:45:27Z

Stayed up until about 3 in the morning last night watching The Who's Tommy, just because I had never seen it. Ummm . . . .huh? Such wonderful songs when The Who performs them, but the way they are being presented in the movie is just . . . is just . . . But no, it's an interesting concept, but one of those films which, if it had been done in the 60's instead of the 70's somehow would have been way more cool. You know? Something about it just seems tired, kind of on the level of that ridiculous Bee Gee's Sergeant Pepper thing with Peter Frampton. Remember that? But anyway, the good thing is now all those excellent songs are going through my head. Put in your ear plugs, put on your eye shades, you know where to put the ball. na na na na na.

Plus the Marilyn Monroe / Eric Clapton segment was cool – got me thinking about our celebrity culture now. So, since everyone else is talking about Lindsey Lohan I figure I'll put in my two cents. I keep reading how she is the "New Robert Downey Jr. of her Generation," [First of all, you can't have a NEW Robert Downey Jr. people, He is a one-of-a-kind timelessly excellent respected actor. And speaking of Downy, I finally saw Zodiac. Oh my god. What an amazing performance. The cool thing was I was sitting next to an older guy from Iraq on the plane while watching it, and he leaned over at one point and told me RDJ is his favorite actor and he loved him in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and I'm like, Oh I know, and we ended up having a really nice long conversation about movies, and then politics, history, religion. See! Downey can bring nations together!] But ANYWAY, what's amazing to me is level of attention she's getting. When Downey screwed up, unless my memory is serving me incorrectly, I think I would hear about it on entertainment shows, or, if it did make the evening news, they at least waited for the entertainment section of the news. I don't remember it being headlines, for crying out loud. The level of fame which is bestowed upon young people now just seems more intense than anything I remember witnessing in my lifetime. I mean, I know it's happened before - Elvis was this famous. Marilyn, The Beatles. But, it seems like the big difference is that then, at the height of their fame, people actually LIKED Elvis and Marilyn and the Beatles, Maybe it's just my narrow social circle, but I have never personally met ANYONE who admits to liking or having any interest in Lindsey or Britney or Paris. So how the hell can they be so famous? The internet? That must be it. After all, the internet knows where you've clicked. It knows all. It keeps constant tabs on us. Everyone can SAY they don't care, but at the end of the day, when the hits are tallied up, it turns out everybody, man and woman, young and old, apparently likes to look at pictures of cute young women. And here comes Uncle Ernie to guide you TO, your very own machine . . . na na na na na And then it becomes a vicious circle. Advertisers realize how secretly popular these people are and start pushing them into prime time news, etc, which makes them even more clickable on the internet, etc.

Anyway, 'nuff about that. In other news, I'm still enjoying Chicago. Having a great summer, and I'm actually glad I'm not traveling so much any more. I'm in CHICAGO. Why would I need to travel? Just the other day I went to the China Town here and got all the delicious dim sum and bubble tea I could consume. Just like being in Taiwan.

Listening to you. I get the music. Gazing at you. I get the heat. Following you. I climb the mountain. I get excitment at your feeeeet

Celeb Sightings, Massages, and School

2007-04-20T16:38:01Z

Is anyone else really tired this week or is it just me?

Made it home on Sunday. Saw James Belushi walk by while I was sitting in the taxi waiting for them to run my credit card through. He came out of the House of Blues, alone, and walked over to a limo parked outside the hotel. Then he had a friendly conversation with the bell boy, who was seriously kissing butt. But anyway, thought that was cool. I rarely see celebs. I'm not a huge fan, but he seemed like a really nice guy.

Anyway, so, it is looking like Rob is not going to get any funding next year to continue his graduate studies. It's so fucked up. Why do these schools lure you in with generous packages the first year, and then leave you hanging? What's extra insulting is one of the students who DID get funding has gotten WORSE grades than Rob, and continuously misses lectures, and cancels his own TA discussion sessions because he's too tired or busy or some lame excuse. But then he has plenty of time to sit in the professors' offices and schmooze. It's all a political popularity contest. I know the world is "like that" but at the same time, these university people are totally self-righteous and are always talking about how much more "integrity" they have than the "evil capitalists" out in the corporate world, but then they turn around and behave exactly the same. So, what do you do. If we have to pay for it ourselves I'm just not sure it's worth it. Maybe it is. Maybe you need a high level degree to even compete any more. Who knows. We are just discouraged. He's worked so hard and deserves better! Sorry, just had to vent.

Anyway, the weather is beautiful today. Finally spring here.

I don't think Justin Timberlake is attractive at all.

I used my hotel points to get a free massage while in Thailand. I've never had a professional massage before. It was funny because I didn't realize how modest our culture is. I walked into the room in a robe and swim suit, since I'd been at the pool, and the masseuse is like, "okay, take everything off, and lie on your back." And then she didn't leave! I'm so used to, you know, at the doctor's office they give you privacy when you're taking off your clothes and then give you some kind of thing to cover yourself, but no, this woman just stood there like, "well, I'm waiting!" I think of myself as not the type to have hang-ups like that, but you know, it was awkward. And then during the course of the massage, she massaged my stomach, and yeah, you just lie there totally exposed. Weird. But anyway, it felt good, and whatever aromatic oil she used smelled great. I would do it again!

How Many Blackberries Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

2007-03-31T17:40:02Z

Apparently three.

Had an interesting night. As the new database engineer I now get invited to these 'meetings' with "higher ups" as they're called, so tonight I had to go to the "Black Penny" which is one of the few Celtic bars in Singapore, with one of our sales guys who is 'stationed' here. It was one of those nights where you're totally tired and don't really feel like being there, and can't make heads or tails of the conversation, partly because you can't hear anything over the "football" game being shown on five different monitors, (Liverpool won – I'm sure you were curious) and partly because everyone, that is, the friends of friends named 'Beckett' and 'Ian' (who looks exactly like a bald male Rachel Dratsch AND who drink off our company tab and then vanishes) speak with a indecipherably thick Irish accent, even though they've been living in Chicago since they were five.

Snippets of the conversation I did catch: "I mean, there were no tittie bars . . . ";". . . and it turned out to be a Taiwanese boy lady . . . ";"well, of course a maid is excessive, but, I mean, I obviously have a cleaning lady . . . "; " Yes! Yes! Liverpool!" "It's like a country club [referring to the expat community in Singapore]. . . but it's the networking that you're really paying for." Snippets of conversation which Michie contributed: "I guess because we know it's just a game."; "Wo xiang 'fish and chips, xie xie"; "the hotel's only a few blocks - I'll walk."

Anyway, I've finally, after so many years of being alive, determined that I don't drink very well, and I think it's time I quit.

The Lunatic is in My Head

2007-03-25T04:39:30Z

Okay, I swear when I chose this new icon I had no idea he was on the cover of the Stone this week. Imagine my surprise when I walked into a Hudson News at O'Hare only to see my pretty new icon staring back at me. Needless to say I bought the issue, (partly thinking that if the plane were to crash, wouldn't I want to go down gazing at David Gilmour's lips?)

But anyway, the actual reason why I've replaced Alicia with Gilmour is that Rob came home from school the other day with UmmaGumma, which he acquired at this great used record store on the way home. (Gotta love Chicago – used record stores on the way home!) Anyway, it put me in a major Floyd mood, which I haven't really been in for about 10 years. So then we drank some Absinthe and listened to it, and then listened to Meddle, and then went to the big Virgin Records MegaStore on Michigan Ave, to their big Mega Sale and bought Dark Side of the Moon (kind of a sellout album, I know, but hey, it's still good) and listened to that. So, anyway, the next day I was still pumped on Floyd and googled a bunch of images of Gilmour, and found the two I'm currently using as icons. Then, as the usual synchronicity would have it, now he's there front and center on the cover of the Rolling Stone! Interesting article too, btw. I never knew this, but Gilmour and Syd Barrett were actually art school friends before any of this Pink Floyd stuff happened, and it was interesting to read how much he influenced and haunted them throughout the whole duration of Floyd – they seemed to need him as a symbol but didn't want to accept the reality of him as a person. Very fascinating but very sad.

Otherwise, I have just now embarked on what should be my last ever trip as a "Field Analyst" for work. I wasn't supposed to go on this trip – since my promotion I'm supposed to be back in the office doing "high end database quality checks" but they couldn't find anyone to replace me for this trip, so here I am, enroute to Singapore, and then on to Chiang Mai, Thailand. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time, although I'm not a superstitious person, I find I've been taking some extra safety precautions. You know how in every film you've ever seen, the day the police chief dude is supposed to retire he ends up getting shot? Or the day the army guy is supposed to go home his platoon gets attacked? So I think, oh man, it's my last trip, I'm going to get in a car accident! Or the plane will crash! Or I'll get caught up in international terrorist activity! You know? Okay, I won't think about it. I'll think about this miserable 21 hour flight I'm on. Sitting next to some Harvard 20-something who smells like an onion bagel.

That's it from the sky. Obviously I can't post this until I land. Hopefully that will happen . . .

St. Patricks Day and other Ongoings

2007-03-16T18:59:22Z

Haven't updated my journal in a while. Haven't had much to say. Been doing some social activities with co-workers in Chicago. Apparently there's this game called Whirly Ball. People looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing what it is. But anyway, they've been working me too hard lately, so I thought I'd spend time updating my journal for once instead of updating the Great Database at work.

I'm anxiously awaiting the "Dying Green of the Chicago River" for St. Patrick's Day. Will they really do this? How green will it be? I can't imagine what this will be like! So, I've stocked up on corned beef and Guinness, and plan to go up to my roof deck which overlooks the river and partayyyyy with the rest of the town.

I got promoted to "Database Engineer" at work. I'm kind of excited about this, because it means people might actually listen to me when I tell them how screwed up the database is. But unfortunately, it will mean a lot less travel. I have kind of a love/hate relationship with travel anyway. I love the IDEA of it, and I love the MEMORIES of having been wherever, but I'm usually stressed out and sick when I'm ACTUALLY THERE. So, maybe less travel is a good idea.

Not much else is new. Rob is depressed and hates graduate school. He is really questioning whether it makes sense to continue. I'm not sure that it does. I want him to do what makes HIM happy, and I feel like he's just going to school because his parents want him to. But I think he feels like he's "locked away in the ivory tower" at school, and not participating in the real world, so to speak. It's a tough call.

Other random thoughts:
- I'm still addicted to Comedy Central. I love the Sarah Silverman show, and even watched that stupid Naked Trucker thing.

- While lying awake one night, I got to thinking about typewriters. Remember typewriters? How you used to have to write your papers and stories in a notebook, and then type them up, and you couldn't copy and paste or delete anything? How did we deal with that?

- I've lost 3 pounds since the beginning of March. Counting calories like an OCD person. I'm trying to find a happy calorie intake level that I can live with for the rest of my life instead of "dieting" from time to time. That never works.

- Belated thoughts on the Academy awards. Got together with some friends to watch it. I was happy that The Departed won because it was one of the few films I've actually seen this year. Loved Mark Wahlberg, but hated the ending. Don't worry, I won't go into spoilers. Otherwise, I thought Seinfeld stole the show.

Well, that's about it from Michie. Now I'm off to read my friend's journals. btw – hippiedork, thanks for the nudge! It worked!! :-)

Been out of Touch

2007-01-17T16:18:37Z

Thought I'd be really crazy and go for a brunette icon. I like it - changes my whole perspective.

Anyway, I can't believe I haven't written in so long and I'm looking forward to catching up on all my friends' journals.

I haven't written, mainly because in my new job and new life situation I just never have any privacy on my computer. But also because I've been spending a lot of time with my sister who has suddenly found herself raising a beautiful two year old girl alone. I guess you never know what life will throw you.

Anyway, just got back from a trip to Amsterdam. Wow. I'd never been there before, and while yes, it is chock full of American dorks who are there for the sole purpose of getting stoned, it's also an amazing place. I love the mossy undulating cobblestones and the off-kilter 17th century architecture - seriously - all the buildings there sort of slanted, or . . . was I just happy on the magical mushrooms? Who can say. Anyway, it was a good time.

But now I'm in Taipei, annoyed at all my co-workers who are complaining that the work is too hard (dudes - you get to go to Taipei, deal with it)and enjoying the view of Taipei 101 from my hotel room and enjoying the food and the weather and the acid rain.

Okay, on to reading other journals . . .

Gonna chain myself to the pavement . . .

2006-10-19T20:02:31Z

So, they’re building a new 50 story office building on the parking lot RIGHT in front of my window. *cries and pounds head on desk* Right now, you can see for over 20 miles from my balcony, as well as having views of the Hancock and Lake Michigan. I really think it’s one of the best views in Chicago, and now it will be gone. Gone!! And my poor condo will be a dark dreary walled-in waste of money. Dang. Why didn’t I think of that before I bought it? Somehow I always assume things won’t change. But oh well, it’s still a good location.

And it still comes with free cable. How did I ever function without Comedy Central and the Sci Fi channel? I’ve gotten into a routine of watching South Park and The Twilight Zone every night. It’s great. On Tuesday night they showed that great one with William Shatner where he sees the creature on the wing of the airplane. It was interesting to see how young he looked, compared to now in Boston Legal, but he still has a lot of the same mannerisms.

Not much else is new. It’s getting chilly out. I love it. I can finally look at people wearing stuff besides flip flops and Jimmy Buffet shirts.

That’s about it. Otherwise, I just been making friends with my cubicle neighbors at work, helping Rob proof read his papers, grocery shopping. working longer hours than I want to, day dreaming about my latest celebrity crush Andy Samburg (he’s CUTE, look at that mouth), still trying to learn Mandarin Chinese, exploring the subway system when I get a chance, and that’s about it.

Live from Bangkok

2006-09-19T16:53:17Z

It's pouring rain.

It's 11:45 pm here and from my window I can see business men walking from their hotels to nearby restaurants and bars. All the markets are still open, with local people are selling wooden frogs, ceramic salt and pepper shakers, watches, and plates of rice with delicious green curry.

The only reason I know anything is wrong is that CNN is telling me so.

But never the less, my manager is monitoring whether or not I should leave and has told me to review the hotel's evacuation procedures and make sure I know where my flashlight is, and to keep my blinds closed. I have done these things, and called my mom and Rob to let them know everything's fine. Figures I'm here right now.

Hopefully everything will be fine tomorrow.

michie_readme @ 2006-08-25T00:16:00

2006-08-25T05:39:31Z

A - Age: 29. Please believe me!
A - Available: Only in the virtual world

B - Beer: Stella Artois. Mmmmm.
B - Birthday: August 29

C - Car: Just got rid of it! I'm carless for the first time ever
C - Candy: dark chocolate, just like papadood

D - Day or night: night
D - Dog or cat?: I really miss my dog cupcake.

E - Easiest person to talk to: myself.
E - E-mail: michiegrass@yahoo.com. Write to me!!

F - Favorite month: october
F - Favorite color: depends on my mood. Lately cream.

G - Gummy Bears or worms: Sour Patch Kids
G - Giver or taker: I get criticized for being too much of both. What the hell do you people want from me??

H - Hair Color: NATURAL blonde, if you know what i mean
H - Height: 5'6"

I - Ice Cream: peanut butter crunch
I - Instrument: guitar, flute, piano, ukalele

J - Job: GIS analyst and Technical Trainer (I like the trainer thing better)
J - Jail: never been arrested. The thought terrifies me.
K - Kid(s): WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING?? LEAVE ME ALONE!!
K - Kindergarden: Had to switch schools in the middle of it. Still traumatized.

L - Longest Car Ride: Across Navada, on that long lonely road
L - Longest relationship: Don't make me think about it right now

M - Most comfortable spot: whatever hotel room I happen to be in
M - Movie Last Watched: "Crash" The ORIGINAL Crash with James spader and Holly Hunter. 1996. Very cool film.

N - Number of Siblings: one sister
N - Number of Tattoos: my college roommate got one. I was smart enough to stay sober

O - One fear: nada
O - One regret: Oh god. Don't get me started
P - Pet Peeves: people who don't know how to "sidewalk"
P- Part of your personality: Reserved. You must 'unpeel' me
Q - Quiet or Loud: Quiet, except when it counts . . .
Q - Quick or Slow: Slow. Sorry guys.

R - Reason to smile: I have a cute smile
R - Reality TV Show: ugh.. (again, stole papadood's answer)

S - Song Last Heard: Over the Hills and Far Away, Led Zep (such beautiful guitar)
S - Sex: does self-induced count? (that would be during my lunch break today)

T - Time you woke: never really slept
T - Time Now: 1 in the morning

U - Unpredictable: according to hubby "predictably unreliable"
U - Underwear: Victoria Secret bikini cut cotton

V - Vegetable you love: Tomatoes . . . or is that a fruit?
V - Vacation spot?: Seattle, or lake superior

W- Worst Habit?: LJ-ing when I'm supposed to be working. Oops.
W- Weather right now: thunderstormy

X - X-ray: only at the dentist
X - X-tra special someone: James Spader, god I'm sad

Y - Year you were born: Like I'd ever tell you
Y - Year it is now: Depends on when you read this

Z - Zoo Animal: I relate well to the sloths.
Z - Zodiac sign: Virgo. In every sense of the word

Odds 'n Ends

2006-08-24T05:30:17Z

Hi. Writing from Atlanta today. Got sent here for work for a week, but I get to go home on Friday. Been just trying to get settled in, in Chicago. Still liking it, except I have mixed feelings on this recent fois gras ban. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm very opposed to animal abuse, but I'm just not sure it's the city's responsibility to decide that for their whole constituency. It seems to me like the information should be out there, then an individual should be allowed to make that decision themselves, and choose to not eat fois gras. It all comes down to individuals having the right to CHOOSE. But, okay, maybe I should save it for a Chicago message board. At least I'm proud to be in a blue state!

ANYWAY, lately I've been depressed about getting older. I guess because I have a birthday coming up. Jerry Seinfeld once said, "You begin your 30's young, and you leave them old." I'm right in the middle of that, where I'm making the transition. I know a lot of people are older than me, and I shouldn't complain, but I just don't like the way my eye lids are starting to droop. I feel like I need to change how I look at myself, and present myself. Have other people experienced this? Any advice is welcome. but I do still get carded every where I go. :-)

Also, now that I'm through with Florida, I feel compelled to mention the things I DID like. So here goes:

1) the lizards. There is an amazing assortment of lizards running around all over florida. geckos, chamelions, light green lizards. these amazingly pre-historic greenish brown lizards who develop bright red bulging necks during mating season. It's weird, but they're very cool. And they eat bugs.

2) the Mission to Mars ride at Epcot. Yes, people have died on this ride, but you know, it's worth it. Little did I know that it's 'hosted' by my second-favorite-actor, Gary Senise. It's a pretty fucked up scary ride. You basically get crammed into this centrifuge (if you're AT ALL claustrophic, skip it) where you pretend to be various members of a crew team going to Mars. You really feel like you're going there. And no matter how scared you get, Gary's voice in your headphones yelling "Engineer!! Activate Hyper-Sleep!!" soothes you completely. Dorky as it is, I must admit I liked all of Epcot Center. The Viking Ship ride alone at the Norway pavillion is worth the 60 bucks you have to pay to get in. And by all means go to the English pubs. And did you know the employees who work there are ALL from the countries they represent? No one is allowed to work there for more than a year, because during that time they may become too Americanized, and lose their autheniticity. So every one there really is from the countries, and the souveniers are really made in each country. I don't know. I thought it was cool.

3) New Smyrna Beach. most of it got washed away during Hurricane Charley, but they've rebuilt. It's a very quaint, local beach, where you can always find parking, yet still watch the sexy surfer guys. It's kinda the shark bite capital of the world, but try not to think about it.

4) Frogs. They grow them big in Florida. And they talk to you. It's spooky.

5) Uhhh, that's about it.

Anyway, new topic. Survey question: Are you guys bored with my journal's look? I'm thinking I need some new icons and colors and layouts? Or do you like me as Alicia?

the Eagle has Landed

2006-07-07T22:48:45Z

Well, I have successfully moved to Chicago. I'm utterly exhausted, but oh man, it's all worth it. I love it here. What a wonderful place. There are billions of restaurants right outside my door, and last night I walked outside my building and into the building next door and watched a Psychedelic Furs concert! How cool is that! I never could have done these things in Orlando. I love all the colorful characters I see in the streets, and everyone I've met so far seems nice and ambitious. I felt at home instantly. This city is so alive! My condo is teenie weenie, but, what can you do. It's right in the middle of down town. I don't need a car. I can walk to work. I can see the Psychedelic Furs! I made the right choice.